February 3, 2009
Something to consider…
Marriable Taking the Desperate Out of Dating
Many single adults don’t realize how their actions and their communication style could be having a negative affect on the opposite sex. Popular thinking about dating identifies certain “rules for success” for today’s singles. But the results are in, and popular thinking isn’t working. Rather than attract the opposite sex, popularly promoted roles and actions often leave singles looking desperate while sending potential dates the opposite direction.
In Marriable, Hayley and Michael DiMarco ask the question, “You aren’t desperate so why are you acting like it?” With creative chapter titles like “They Just Might Be Out of Your League” and “How Being ‘Just Friends’ is a Waste of Time,” the authors explore everything from internet dating to commitment-phobia. Writing with wit and humor, Hayley and Michael discuss the differences between men and women, what those differences mean in a dating relationship, and ultimately how to find and be a “marriable” person. With short, accessible chapters that tell it like it is, Marriable will be appreciated by men and women alike.
For more advice on Dating, check out: www.OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com
User Ratings and Reviews
5 Stars Halariously True
Picking up a book like this seemed like another waste of time, but what the authors do is inject their sense of humor and blunt style of advice. Girls, we’re too desperate sometimes and we talk too much: now why didn’t I think of that? And guys, although you may feel like a loser for being the “nice guy” you have a better shot at being Marriable. They also talk about the dreaded “online dating” and how to do it and be safe. It’s not just for non-Christians!
The format of the book is easy to read, with humorous pictures that match the topics. There’s little anecdotes in the margins of the book by the co-authors as well. This book is not a waste of time or money! Single or not, pick it up.
3 Stars Decent book with a HUGE problem
There are many good things about this book, but space is limited, so I’ll only address a HUGE problem. The chapter `Men Lie to Get What They Want’ is mostly good; it deals with how men often lie to get sex and admiration from women. True enough, but near the end of the chapter the authors sail off a cliff.
Women are asked `does it bother you that all of the love and affection he has expressed are just attempts to get sex? It shouldn’t, he’s a man!’ This is applied to both `bad boys’ and `nice guys’. They insist that regardless of how dedicated to waiting for marriage & being honorable and respectful your man is; he is still a liar just trying to get sex. Worse, “when your man says he loves you, he means nothing more than when he says `I love doughnuts’. The fact that he gets to have sex with you is just a bonus.” Then, `But ladies, just in case your guy doesn’t take these words of advice, prepare yourself for lies desperately seeking admiration and sex. Hey, it’s only natural.’
This is sick. Sincere men aren’t perfect, but these slurs are insulting and patently false. The authors’ excuse disgusting male behavior; smear nice guys with it; and then tell women to tolerate it because it’s `natural’! And are women to be content being seen by their husbands as `doughnuts’ with which they can have sex?
If a woman regarded my genuine displays of love and affection as manipulative lies, the relationship would be over. Period.
Here is how a mirror image of the authors’ thoughts might read (nearly word for word):
Guys, does it bother you to know that she’s interested in sex with you only to the extent that it can get her what she most desires; an `I love you’, a bouquet of flowers, a foot rub or a romantic date? Don’t be, after all, she’s just a woman. Relax guys, you can play her like she was meant to be played; don’t reward the conniving scheming wench. Love & affection are your biggest bargaining chips, so use them wisely. Make it clear that there will be no sweet nothings until you get a binding legal document! And, after marriage, if she wants any love and affection, she’d better be `putting out’. Also realize that when she does express a desire to make love, she’s saying no more than when she was longing for that snazzy new pair of shoes. That she gets poems and flowers from you is just a bonus. Don’t let this disappoint you, it’s only natural!
Disgusting, demeaning and indefensible, but no more so than the authors’ words.
This is to say nothing of the contention that guys are, by nature, unable to be truthful and respectful. God commands guys to be truthful and honor women as they would their sisters. God asks of us nothing we can’t do (even if only with His help). To say that guys `cannot help it’ is to impugn God.
All of that aside, this is an otherwise good book.
February 3, 2009
For the non-professionals… like all of us!
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” (Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03)
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” (Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03)
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” — Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03
For more advice on Dating, check out: www.OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com
User Ratings and Reviews
4 Stars Fantastic Guide
I couldnt put the book down, there is some fantastic insights into improving your success in online dating. great book
4 Stars Easy and Good, but NOT ALL ANSWERS!!!
I liked this book, but it isn’t a book of answers. However, if you are a newbie to online dating, it helps a lot to read this book.
Most online daters have no clue what they are doing. The successful ones that you see on TV (doing eharmony commercials) are the lucky ones. That’s why this book helps. It first gives you the low down on online dating and why it is completely different from real world dating. Since it is so different, everyone needs to take a different approach to it. Surprisingly, not everyone does.
How many times have you winked at someone and not recieved a response? How many profiles have you read that say, “I don’t know what to write?” How many emails have you sent out that just didn’t work?
Well, this book explains why these things happen in online dating.
However, it isn’t a book of answers. It won’t tell you what the perfect profile is, but will give you hints on how to write one. It won’t tell you what the best picture is, but it will tell you not to post the same one twice. Treat it as a guide and you will be fine. Treat it as “the way” and you’re in trouble.
For me, I was very excited to try online dating and would go online everyday to find new connections. After reading this book, I realized online dating is not a quick and easy way to find the love of my life (like eharmony advertises), but it is more of a long haul and it requires more work than I thought. This book really helped me realize that I needed to work at online dating much like real world dating.
3 Stars Good pre-screening advice, but…
Online Dating for Dummies contains good advice about screening future dates by being sure you see their photo - it could be your cousin! Translating the written profile to weed out the more obvious fibs is also a great tip. Improper English could mean you are going to have coffee with someone who really wants a green card more than they want you. The advice the book is lacking is how to make each of those failed internet dates a learning experience. I would like to know how to polish my dating skills with a looser, so that I can really shine when I finally find a good one.
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4 Stars My Review
My reviews always air on the side of benefit of the doubt to the author. I thought this book was an easy read and had some basic common sense tips about dating online. One thing she emphasized was having a pic and safety, two important concepts.
Many other common sense tips as well. One thing I noticed in the book that I wasn’t thrilled about, she says if you are not happy in a date, then go to the bathroom and call a friend to show up and pretend you didn’t realize they were coming. ( well you still would not break a date if you were happy). Another tip, tell them you have to go home to take care of your kids… ” just make sure you have kids” etc.
I believe that 99.9% of people do not want to be lied to. If you are not happy and not miserable, why not cut the date short, but be polite. Such as I need to get going in the next 10 minutes. I have some work/laundry ( or whatever honestly) there is.
She says never go for dinner on the first date. Well some enjoy dinner even with someone new. She says it can be like a 90 minute prison. I don’t agree. I feel unless a person is acting out of line that you can learn new things about someone and you can even help put a smile on someones face even if you aren’t interested in dating them. Bottom line: Treat the other the way you would want to be treated, no need to stay hours longer if you are not happy, and no need to make b.s exuses, polite honesty is what everyone likes.
You wouldn’t leave a sales call after 2 minutes if you didn’t like the person’s hair or voice, so treat a date as you would a sales call, be polite be honest and be nice, try to make the experience a good one for both even if you are not compatable, you may have made someone’s day and you are a better person for that. Good luck with dating, and remember, be polite, be fair and be kind, you will be much happier and more respected and loved for it.
3 Stars For People Uncomfortable with Computers?
Most of what this book says is either common sense or easy to find out by using an online dating service. They sound uncomfortable enough with computers that they seem to expect readers to prefer reading a generic description on paper to reading the online descriptions that the dating services provide.
Their idea of backing up email is to print it out.
They say on page 183 that meeting in person gives away your anonymity completely, then on page 237 they describe how to meet in person anonymously. That is fairly typical about how carefully they write.
Instead of this, I recommend buying Katz’s I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book.
February 2, 2009
Preparation is key!
Everyones Guide to Online Dating How to Find Love and Friendship on the Internet
Whether you’re looking for love or a special friendship, online dating is a simple yet effective way to improve your social life. It can also be a lot of fun. By making a decision to try it, you may have already opened a door to a whole new world of exciting possibilities. This practical step-by-step guide will teach you everything you need to know about online dating, so that you can do it safely and enjoyably. This is the first online dating guide written specifically for UK daters. All the advice inside is based on many hundreds of actual case studies as well as in-depth industry knowledge and personal experience. Whether you’re an Internet veteran or just starting out, this book will help you on your way to finding love online.
For more advice on Dating, check out: www.OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com