February 15, 2009
Sex or Companionship! Pretty simple. These are a couple of the main reasons we search for that certain someone.
Expect & Accept: both these intentions when approaching or being approached by someone! (in the beginning)
Your job whether approaching or being approached is to find out which of these intentions the “other party” has in mind!
1) Expect & Accept: that you’re both interested in meeting someone for a “REASON”.
No one pursues another for no reason. We mainly either pursue another for sex or companionship. Most other reasons branch off of these main 2 intentions.
2) Expect & Accept: to not have enough in common with the other party.
It’s ok to find out the other party that was good looking or well dressed or charismatic from a far isn’t interested in the main reasons you are for pursuing a mate.
Important: If you find you intentions are not the same as the other party’s… “Do not waste time trying to manipulate the others intentions to conform to your own.” Just as important… “Do not consider changing you own intentions to conform to the other party’s.”
Important: Do not judge the other party for having different intentions than you! You goal is to find someone to match your intentions. Do you job and find the other party’s intentions before you do anything else. If you 2 don’t match… Keep it moving and your eye on the prize!
3) Expect & Accept: to read between the lines when finding the other parties intentions.
No! You cannot come right out and ask if someone’s looking for sex or a wedding ring (in the beginning). Remember, there’s a certain amount of dignity that comes with meeting each other. You have to assume the other is interested in you for the same reasons you’re interested in them. This is a sure way to find out their true intentions.
Sex and companionship require different approaches. Because of this, the ultimate intention between you and the other party will be revealed!
4) Expect & Accept: to meet more than one or even some people!
Even if you did meet someone that truly has the same intention you do doesn’t mean you’re compatible! It just means they’re looking for the same thing you are. Yes! Of course you wouldn’t be communicating with them if you didn’t feel they had potential. And to find out their intentions are yours as well IS saying something… BUT(!) it doesn’t mean you’re a match… it just means you felt they had potential and they have the same main interest in pursuing another as you do. If you feel you have a match… PROVE IT!
5) (my personal favorite) Expect & Accept: to truly find that certain someone!
For more dating advice and the most proven dating services: hop over to OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com for both FREE advice & professional services as well as the best-selling dating informational products.
February 3, 2009
For the non-professionals… like all of us!
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” (Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03)
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” (Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03)
“…covers strategies for success, including how to choose an agency, respond to potential dates and cultivate a relationship on-line…” — Aberdeen Press & Journal, Dec 03
For more advice on Dating, check out: www.OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com
User Ratings and Reviews
4 Stars Fantastic Guide
I couldnt put the book down, there is some fantastic insights into improving your success in online dating. great book
4 Stars Easy and Good, but NOT ALL ANSWERS!!!
I liked this book, but it isn’t a book of answers. However, if you are a newbie to online dating, it helps a lot to read this book.
Most online daters have no clue what they are doing. The successful ones that you see on TV (doing eharmony commercials) are the lucky ones. That’s why this book helps. It first gives you the low down on online dating and why it is completely different from real world dating. Since it is so different, everyone needs to take a different approach to it. Surprisingly, not everyone does.
How many times have you winked at someone and not recieved a response? How many profiles have you read that say, “I don’t know what to write?” How many emails have you sent out that just didn’t work?
Well, this book explains why these things happen in online dating.
However, it isn’t a book of answers. It won’t tell you what the perfect profile is, but will give you hints on how to write one. It won’t tell you what the best picture is, but it will tell you not to post the same one twice. Treat it as a guide and you will be fine. Treat it as “the way” and you’re in trouble.
For me, I was very excited to try online dating and would go online everyday to find new connections. After reading this book, I realized online dating is not a quick and easy way to find the love of my life (like eharmony advertises), but it is more of a long haul and it requires more work than I thought. This book really helped me realize that I needed to work at online dating much like real world dating.
3 Stars Good pre-screening advice, but…
Online Dating for Dummies contains good advice about screening future dates by being sure you see their photo - it could be your cousin! Translating the written profile to weed out the more obvious fibs is also a great tip. Improper English could mean you are going to have coffee with someone who really wants a green card more than they want you. The advice the book is lacking is how to make each of those failed internet dates a learning experience. I would like to know how to polish my dating skills with a looser, so that I can really shine when I finally find a good one.
[...]
4 Stars My Review
My reviews always air on the side of benefit of the doubt to the author. I thought this book was an easy read and had some basic common sense tips about dating online. One thing she emphasized was having a pic and safety, two important concepts.
Many other common sense tips as well. One thing I noticed in the book that I wasn’t thrilled about, she says if you are not happy in a date, then go to the bathroom and call a friend to show up and pretend you didn’t realize they were coming. ( well you still would not break a date if you were happy). Another tip, tell them you have to go home to take care of your kids… ” just make sure you have kids” etc.
I believe that 99.9% of people do not want to be lied to. If you are not happy and not miserable, why not cut the date short, but be polite. Such as I need to get going in the next 10 minutes. I have some work/laundry ( or whatever honestly) there is.
She says never go for dinner on the first date. Well some enjoy dinner even with someone new. She says it can be like a 90 minute prison. I don’t agree. I feel unless a person is acting out of line that you can learn new things about someone and you can even help put a smile on someones face even if you aren’t interested in dating them. Bottom line: Treat the other the way you would want to be treated, no need to stay hours longer if you are not happy, and no need to make b.s exuses, polite honesty is what everyone likes.
You wouldn’t leave a sales call after 2 minutes if you didn’t like the person’s hair or voice, so treat a date as you would a sales call, be polite be honest and be nice, try to make the experience a good one for both even if you are not compatable, you may have made someone’s day and you are a better person for that. Good luck with dating, and remember, be polite, be fair and be kind, you will be much happier and more respected and loved for it.
3 Stars For People Uncomfortable with Computers?
Most of what this book says is either common sense or easy to find out by using an online dating service. They sound uncomfortable enough with computers that they seem to expect readers to prefer reading a generic description on paper to reading the online descriptions that the dating services provide.
Their idea of backing up email is to print it out.
They say on page 183 that meeting in person gives away your anonymity completely, then on page 237 they describe how to meet in person anonymously. That is fairly typical about how carefully they write.
Instead of this, I recommend buying Katz’s I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book.
February 1, 2009
Look through his eyes!
The Electronic Candy Store A guide for women to find Mr Right on the Internet
Description: This is the first of what hopefully will be many books on dating (more specifically through the Internet), by the hot new Author, James J. Raines. This books gives an incredible male perspective along with very intense insights for any woman thinking of trying the Internet dating world, or who is feeling like “throwing in the towel”. Mr. Raines is a self-proclaimed former “Player” who will be enlightening all women who purchase this book in the ways & means of how most Internet dating men interact with such women. Furthermore, this book was designed to help any woman, no matter what level she is at, in the world of Internet dating.
For more advice on Dating, check out: www.OnlineDatingResourcesBlog.com
User Ratings and Reviews
5 Stars A must read!
I recently purchased this book on a website that does NOT allow “reviews” of books. But, after reading this book, I FELT COMPLETELY COMPELLED TO DO JUST THAT! It is incredibly insightful! And, this Mr. Raines guy certainly “knows” his stuff!! He mentioned a few situations that I’ve been a part of over the years (in this book), and he gives this male perspective (on exactly how to handle certain “situations”)that is absolutely priceless! 5 STAR RATING HERE, AND A MUST READ FOR ALL WOMEN!!! Whether you’re thinking about starting the online dating thing, or have been doing for years, his “insights” are priceless to say the least!!!
4 Stars I purchased this for my older Sister, but I read it first….
I purchased this for my older Sister, but I read it first….ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!! I’m sure this book was written to actually help all types of women in mind, but instead, I felt as though it was a little too comical. If you’re a woman looking for a “Man’s perspective” on things, or if you’re in dire need of a really big laugh, then buy this book, it WILL make you laugh!
My Sis thought it was pretty insightful. But, because she is not the most computer literate person on Earth, I took the liberty of writing this review. I personally, would only have given it 3stars. She thinks it’s worth 5, so I split the difference.
I’m out!
J.R.